Saturday, June 28, 2014

JANE MONHEIT---DISNEY HALL TONIGHT!!!!!






MY FAVORITE SINGER IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD-----JANE MONHEIT

IS SINGING TONIGHT AT DISNEY HALL!!!!




How cool........and then she and her husband and the band and I sneak off to an amazing bar in downtown LA. Let the martinis begin..............



Friday, June 27, 2014

MY PERFECT NEW PANEL FOR "THE VIEW"











EVER SINCE ELIZABETH AND JOY LEFT, "THE VIEW" HAS BEEN UNWATCHABLE. It was too painful for me to see Whoopi struggling to turn a sow's ear into a purse.

 I loved Elizabeth and Joy. I did NOT love Jenny McCarthy. She's a nice girl, but she was the nail in the coffin. As for Sherri Shepherd, despite her short-comings, I adore her. All she has to do is smile that smile and I start to laugh. I'm sorry she's gone, but for the show it is better that they start with just Whoopi and build a show around her.

 What's also interesting in this is that EP Bill Geddie is also leaving. I guess he just got tired.



"The View" used to be appointment TV, where news was made every day.
Here's my Dream Panel with Whoopi:

Meghan McCain   

John McCain's daughter is smart, hip and adds a fresh view



Rosie O'Donnell    

Please, God, bring her back. No matter what you think of her, she's always interesting to watch--like a time bomb.



 Margaret Hoover    
   




She is the future of the Republican Party---Pro-choice, pro gay rights, fiscal conservative, strong defense budget


Monica Lewinsky    

 Yes, that's what I said. Ratings, ratings, ratings, plus I like her and so does Barbara


Bethanny Frankel   


Bright, edgy, New York-y, sarcastic, real and funny.


-----------------------------------------

AND OF COURSE THEY SHOULD HAVE JOAN RIVERS ON AS A GUEST PANELIST WHENEVER SHE CAN WORK IT INTO HER INSANELY BUSY SCHEDULE.


I ALSO KNOW THEY WILL NEED SOMEONE IN HER 20s. THE OTHER NIGHT, WHEN I WAS AT A TAPING OF "FASHION POLICE," a 21-year-old Disney actress named Debby Ryan was on. We all were extremely impressed by her brains, wit, ambition, and poise. She's really one to watch. She is not some twerking idiot.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

JOAN RIVERS' DIARY OF A MAD DIVA---HER NEW BOOK IS OUT JULY 1ST


WHAT DO KANYE WEST, ANNE FRANK AND RUTH BADER GINSBURG HAVE IN COMMON????       SEE BELOW!!!!!






ANY BOOK THAT STARTS OFF WITH A QUOTE FROM KANYE WEST.........WELL...

 "SOME PEOPLE WRITE NOVELS AND THEY JUST BE SO WORDY AND SO SELF-ABSORBED...I AM A PROUD NON-READER OF BOOKS."----Kanye West (Reuters, May 2009)

"THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO KANYE WEST BE CAUSE HE'LL NEVER F--KIN' READ IT."-----Joan Rivers






"Diary of a Mad Diva" is a put-on comedy book that says funny and nasty things about everyone. IT IS A JOKE. Kristen Stewart has already gotten an attorney to sue Joan. Ridiculous.

It really is a 365-day diary starting on Jan. 1. You can read all about Joan's adventures shop-lifting with Lindsay Lohan..........her annoyance at Anne Frank writing a diary first........watching Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg shoving lamb shops in her purse at a restaurant...




I don't want to give away all the surprise adventures and lessen your fun. Get this book NOW.

DIANE SAWYER OFF OF ABC NEWS NETWORK BROADCAST----HMMMMM









ABC SAYS "SHE'S STEPPING DOWN TO MAKE SPECIALS AND JOIN THEM FOR IMPORTANT NEWS COVERAGE." UH HUH. YEAH. RIGHT.

Uh oh. She's 68 years old and we'd better replace her with a younger man, preferably one with really good hair.

Even the "girls" on "GMA" were discussing his hair this morning---where the part was; the height of his sweep, etc.

God help me. I'LL NEVER WATCH ABC'S NIGHTLY NEWS SHOW WITH OUT DIANE.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

LILI HAYDN IN LILI LAND--HER NEW CD. A UNIQUE GENIUS



“One of L.A.’s most adored musicians will surely become the province of a national trust. Haydn has a voice so sublime that it is truly like the fifth string of her virtuoso violin. Haydn is the true spirit of ineffably poetic magic. On Light Blue Sun, Haydn offers a rare profundity." Paper magazine


LILI HAYDN COULD BE DESCRIBED IN MANY WAYS........A violinist who is the female Jimi Hendrix......a gamine from an alternate universe....a film score composer who adds a whole other world to whatever film she does (she just scored the acclaimed documentary on Anita Hill)....a singer who can't be pigeonholed in any way. I was fortunate enough to get my hands on her new album before its release on July 25th.

I listened to "Lili Land" from start to finish in one sitting. I was taken away to many other lands, some ethereal, some rock and roll....to the Argentinian sounds of Astor Piazzola to Roby Lakatos' Hungarian atmosphere. Each track is a personal journey, showing you a facet of Lili's life and mind. I was out of my mind over all of them, but "Kashmir" is always the first one I play.

The right thing to do is get a copy for yourself and go on your own trip with her.






"Lili Land is the jungle of my mind," says the distinguished singer, songwriter, composer and violinist of her first album in six years and fourth overall. "Fun, fragile, and ferocious songs about losing everything and getting it back."

Produced by Lili and mixed by Darrell Thorp (Radiohead and Beck) with drum work spearheaded by Matt Chamberlain (Pearl Jam, Lana Del Rey and Tori Amos), the 12-track album is a blend of quirky pop hooks, soulful melody, and raw grooves. It's all unified by her unique brand of violin virtuosity, nakedly honest vocals, and poignant lyrics that reflect her passion for social justice and personal soul-searching.

LILI LAND features a uniquely arranged rendition of the Led Zeppelin classic "Kashmir" as tribute to the legendary band. Lili performed the song live in 1995 with Jimmy Page and Robert Plant at The Forum in Los Angeles and subsequently opened for them on their last U.S. tour.

"LILI LAND was written and recorded in the four years following a freak chemical accident in my home, in which the pesticides in the foundation used to prevent termites made me sick, caused brain damage, and forced me to get rid of everything I owned," says Lili. "After trying every therapy around, I finally recovered by way of practicing my violin." She adds: "My song 'How I Got My Brains Back' starts with a classical melody that helped me get well, and unleashes the healing mayhem of a rock violin concerto." Lili explored this period of her life in a 2012 TED TALK.
LILILAND has already been embraced by the likes of such esteemed industry producers Steve Lillywhite and Linda Perry, who praised it as "Unique, creative, moving, bold, sonically beautiful and really fucking clever."

Sunday, June 22, 2014

DAYTIME EMMYS LIVE-STREAMED FOR THE FIRST TIME--AND SO MUCH BETTER THAN ON NETWORK


HAVING THE DAYTIME EMMYS NON-TELEVISED AND JUST CARRIED ON THE INTERNET MADE FOR A WILD PARTY.

Host Kathy Griffin had four letter words and dirty jokes flying everywhere.....something about Mario Lopez's dimples and their use, etc.

BUT THE BIG DEAL FOR ME WAS ALL THE FACETIME AND WINS FOR MY FRIEND, JILL PHELPS, THE BEST EXECUTIVE PRODUCER IN DAYTIME. JILL TOOK OVER "THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS" A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, AND IT PRACTICALLY WON EVERY AWARD OF THE NIGHT. Jill even got to accept an Emmy for the tribute to the late actress Jeanne Cooper that "Y and R" did. Then, at the end, Kathy Griffin walked on stage to end the show and ended up "sparring" with Jill.

Sample:

Kathy: The show has to fucking end now

Jill: Not before I thank my fucking daughter.

LOVED IT.

JILL PHELPS

HAPPY SUNDAY---NEW FUNERAL STORY IN NEW YORK TIMES WELCOMES ME HOME FROM LONDON


THERE IS A NEW WAY TO DO FUNERALS NOW, AND IT STARTED IN PUERTO RICO.
TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW. 

THAT WOMAN IS DEAD AND A GUEST AT HER OWN FUNERAL.

You could be thinking many things right now. As sad as all funerals are, humor always works for me at some point. The woman below loved to smoke, drink beer. I'm happy for her. I like this trend.
Who said you always had to lie down in a casket at a funeral?






NEW YORK TIMES FUNERAL HONOREE



HERE IS WHERE I'LL BE SEATED FOR MINE




Here's the NYT article:

NEW ORLEANS — All last week, people were calling Louis Charbonnet to find out how they might avoid lying down at their funerals. Funeral directors have called; so have people with their own requests, such as the woman who wanted to be seen for the last time standing over her cooking pot.
The calls started coming in to the Charbonnet-Labat Funeral Home during its June 12 viewing for Miriam Burbank, who died at 53 and spent her service sitting at a table amid miniature New Orleans Saints helmets, with a can of Busch beer at one hand and a menthol cigarette between her fingers, just as she had spent a good number of her living days.
Word of the arrangement began to spread, hundreds showed up, the news spread online, and now here was Mr. Charbonnet getting a call from a funeral director in Australia.
Ms. Burbank’s service was the second of its kind that Mr. Charbonnet had arranged, and the third in New Orleans in two years. But there have been others elsewhere, most notably in San Juan, P.R. Viewings there in recent years have included a paramedic displayed behind the wheel of his ambulance and, in 2011, a man dressed for his wake like Che Guevara, cigar in hand and seated Indian style.





The body of Christopher Rivera, a boxer who was shot to death, was propped up in a fake boxing ring for his wake in January in San Juan, P.R. Credit Ricardo Arduengo/Associated Press

Thursday, June 12, 2014

I'VE BEEN IN NY FOR ONLY SEVEN HOURS. HERE'S WHAT'S HAPPENED......


LOOK OUT, NEW YORK!!!! I'M ONLY HERE FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS BEFORE

SAILING ON QUEEN MARY 2.






AIRPLANE LANDS----Small verbal altercation with a guy who looked like Big Pussy from "The Sopranos"  in the aisle. In the end, we decide to agree. I make him laugh.




FIRST STOP---Go directly to Papaya King on 86th.  I AM IN HEAVEN



SECOND STOP--Unnamed hotel. Just deposit bags and rush to the seven o' clock curtain of the Carole King musical, "Beautiful." It just won some Tonys last Sunday, and there is no better time to see a show with all the leads in place and the heat of the wins. I love the show. I love Jessie Meuller. I managed Carole at one time and it was incredible to see my own life experiences on the stage.




Show over and in the lobby I run into Broadway producer Ken Waissman, who has the new musical, "Josephine," about Josephine Baker on tap to hit Broadway. He is with Judy Collins and her husband, Louis Nelson, an industrial designer who designed the Korean War Memorial in Washington.
 I look at the real Judy Collins having just watched the fake Carole King and we talk about what it was like. She was lovely. Her eyes are extraordinary. Duh.
Ken Waissman
Judy Collins


THIRD STOP--Call Uber to pick me up in the surprise rainstorm and head to the Eastside to have a late Italian dinner with Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue and their friend Phil. Our private converstion ranged from God to Erma Bombeck.

Whew!!!! Leaving at Noon for ship, but first a breakfast at Norma's at the Parker-Meridien with writer Susan Silver.

It's a good thing I was only in NY overnight..........

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I'M OFF AGAIN ON A CRUISE--NEW YORK TO LONDON



SEEING "BEAUTIFUL" IN NY BEFORE I BOARD THE SHIP






QUEEN MARY 2
HOW I LOVE HER




I LOVE PRINCE CHARLES' HIGHGROVE COOKIES

Thursday, June 5, 2014

I CAN'T STOP WORRYING ABOUT BOBBI KRISTINA (HOUSTON) BROWN

WHY DO CHILDREN TRY TO DIE LIKE THEIR ADDICT PARENTS?????


I'd like to say, first and importantly, that not all famous children are like that. Amy Winehouse's parents are not addicts, and her parents weren't famous. But more often than not, that it not the case.
In some cases, the children become the exact opposite of their parent's or parents' wild behavior. They witnessed it as children and had the ability to chose to do the opposite. I can name several examples of this, but they are my friends---so I won't. 



Amy before drugs.


Amy after



Let's start with Peaches Geldof. Her mother died of a heroin overdose in her 20s, and so did she. This is a double-waste.  
Peaches. How very sad


 For years, Liza Minnelli has been trying to imitate ALL her mother's behaviors. It's like these people unconsciously think their lives (and deaths) are predestined. I am so very glad that Liza is still with us. Same with Mackenzie Phillips. Congratulations to you both for fighting for your lives.

 Liza
Mackenzie


Look at Sid Vicious. HIS OWN MOTHER was his drug dealer and gave him the dose that killed him.

BUT I AM TERRIFIED FOR BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN.







Her parents' were terrible examples. She idolized her mother and seems to be imitating her erratic, entitled, insane behavior. She's already had drug trouble and been involved in a police situation. She either did or did not marry some kid who was her "adopted brother." She is defying all her relatives and her mother's close advisors. I pray that she keeps her father away from her life and finds a healthy way to live.

I never met the parents of River Phoenix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, or Elvis Presley, just to name a few---but I did meet all of those sad, deceased people. River was so sweet and well-mannered. Janis was drunk out of her mind when I met her. Jimi was high on something that made him want to sleep and he fell asleep in mid-sentence when we were talking. Jim was the sexist man I've ever seen. I was mesmerized by him. Elvis (I was really young) had magic, but seemed so out of place and uncomfortable in his showbiz environment.

 No one really has control over an addict. I understand. But parents do set examples in most cases. Some do their very best. Some kill their children.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

STARBUCKS NEEDS TO INSTITUTE A NEW POLICY AGAINST "TABLE-SQUATTING."










WHETHER WE LIKE OR NOT, WE ALL GO THERE A LOT. HERE'S MY PROBLEM---

Since when did Starbucks become a hotel? Or a Library? Or a Study Hall? Or an Office?

Why do all these people lliterally "move-in" daily with their computers, books, briefacses, papers, phones, etc. and sit at a tabLe for hours and hours nursing one drink? It's just not right. There's never a place to sit because these CHEAP SQUATTERS are taking up all the tables.

I think Starbucks should charge rent by the hour for a table if you're not just having a drink and leaving!!! I realize they don't care, because the tables are always filled, but they would make more money wtih a turnover...plus, they are losing customers to won't put up with it and just move on to Coffee Bean, Peet's, etc.



If they don't charge rent, my friend, Elizabeth Keener, had an idea. If you're going to stay over an hour, you must must buy something each hour.

SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE.