NEIL PATRICK HARRIS--GO AWAY. YOU SHOULD NEVER HOST THE OSCARS AGAIN

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, YOU ARE NO ELLEN. CRAIG AND NEIL, GO BEG ELLEN TO RETURN FOR NEXT YEAR. But, Neil Maron and Craig Zadan--I really liked the rest of your show.

Neil, your opening number was just fine, and it was aided by the most elegant and beautiful Oscar set ever, and you had two or three good jokes. BUT DON'T INSULT OPRAH. No one had a clue what you were talking about. And then you say she's rich? How gauche. What bad taste.

YOU COME OUT IN YOUR UNDERWEAR? I get the "Birdman" thing, but that is NOT appropriate for the Oscars. Can you imagine Bob Hope, Johnny Carson or Billy Crystal doing something that vile, something that cheapens our most important awards show? And, Neil, the gay guys at the party were so bored.

YOU GO INTO THE AUDIENCE AND THINK YOU CAN BE FUNNY LIKE ELLEN? You talk to seat fillers? OMG



NOTE TO MICHAEL KEATON:

Do you not have the manners or the etiquette to understand that you NEVER chew gum on camera and particularly at the black-tie Oscars????? I'm glad Eddie Redmayne won.


NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF THE WOMEN LOOKED BEAUTIFUL. I'm not interested in singling out some of the mistakes.

BUT I CANNOT RESIST COMMENTING ON SCARLET JOHANSSEN'S SHAVED HEAD.
ICE ICE BABY............





Without a doubt, Lady Gaga was the hit of the evening. I always knew she was an amazing, legitimate singer who just acted rock and roll crazy to make a name for herself. Her album with Tony Bennett is masterful, and having her do "The Sound of Music Tribute," ending in Julie Andrews coming out was momentous. Bravo to Craig and Neil!

In fact, if you take NPH out of the equation, I really think Craig and Neil produced a terrific show. What made it so special were the musical performances. You had great songs, great artists, and great performers ....even the "play-ons" saluted prior Oscar winning songs or nominated ones. I loved the production design and set decoration it looked royal and elegant.

And, while I don't think the Oscar stage is a place for politics to be in acceptance speeches, it worked this year. Equal pay for women, equal treatment for minorities, honoring Dr. King, and creating awareness for ALS and Alzheimers and suicide of gay or transgendered kids---all good things and handled in good taste with honest emotions.

By the way, I'm sick of critics saying the show is dull or it dragged. They don't understand that the Oscars every year have to give awards in categories that may not interest everyone. It's no one's fault. That's always when the show "drags." Who cares? It will never change, and it's part of the process. Stop your complaining.

Congratulations to all the winners, and particularly to Julianne Moore. You deserved it. It was your time. You waited long enough.

IT'S TIME FOR THE OSCARS WITHOUT BILLY CRYSTAL OR ELLEN OR ANY FABULOUS, BLOCKBUSTER MOVIES.

WELL, THEY HAVE SOME PRETTY GOOD SONGS AND SINGING PERFORMANCES THIS YEAR, SO THAT SHOULD BE FUN.

Last year I was there; this year all my friends (who are not there) and I are wearing pajamas and we'll be together in front of a giant screen. We have a game. We each come with several pairs of rolled up socks. When someone comes on we don't like--winner or presenter, we throw the socks at the screen. Some actors/actresses through the years have been covered in"snowballs."  We love it.

There are also now so many awards shows preceding the Oscars that stars frequently seem to be on a continuous treadmill, only taking the time to change clothes. It takes a lot of the excitement out of it. And, as of right now, most of us know many of the winners. FOR SURE:

Julianne Moore  

J.K. Simmons      

Patricia Arquette     

The only interesting races are now for Best Picture and Best Actor. A lot has always depended on when the Oscar ballots were sent out. A month ago BOYHOOD and Eddie Redmayne had it in the bag. Three weeks ago it was BIRDMAN and Michael Keaton. In the past ten days, all anyone can talk about is AMERICAN SNIPER and Bradley Cooper. You know what? I don't know now who will win. All those movies and actors were terrific. But what is amazing to me, after covering Hollywood and the Oscars for decades, for the first time in my life, I don't care.

'NOT THAT JEWISH" AT THE BRAID THEATRE IN SANTA MONICA

I KNOW IT SAYS "BRAID.." IT'S A PLAY ON THE "BROAD." I kept hearing about this amazing little show called "Not Too Jewish" playing in a performance space in Santa Monica. Everybody is loving it, so I decided to see for myself. I loved it, too!

Monica Piper

Monica Piper, a stand-up coming and long-time comedy series staffer, performs her one-woman, one-act play about her life. You can't stop laughing, but it is poignant, too. It's a wonderful way to spend an evening. Congratulations to director Eve Brandstein, too

The Braid began doing performance art in people's homes, and it now has this beautiful space in Santa Monica. This current production is a presentation of Jewish Women's Theatre, an organization i never knew existed until I went to this play. Treat yourself, and go!



------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VALENTINE'S MADNESS: From Trader Vic's to the Gardenia

Joely Fisher and her husband Chris Duddy, plus Connie Stevens, Lainie Kazan and I descended upon Trader Vic's for PuPu Platters and rum drinks out by the pool. Good times were had and then I went to the Gardenia to see Andrea Marcovicci's Valentine's Show where she sang so many of my favorite songs ab9ut love--"Quited, Unrequited, and Disastrous." Every song in Andrea's hands turn into an involving playlet.

Joely with her gift for her mother

Trader Vic's famous Pupu Platter

Connie and Lainie loved the gift

Andrea Marcovicci

-----------------------------------------

MY OWN PERSONAL LOBSTER ROLL SURVEY:

I love them and I'm not in Maine. Problem. So, Helen Reddy introduced my to Blue Plate Oysterette in Santa Monica and I fell in love with their roll. Good News----they just opened another Blue Plate Oysterette on Third St. in West Hollywood.

Then, much to my surprise, Joan's on Third starting offering a Lobster Roll Special.

NEW MARIPOSA RESTAURANT AT NEIMAN-MARCUS BH---THE GOOD AND THE BAD

Seriously? Really?

LET ME SAY RIGHT OUT THAT I LOVED THE FOOD AND SERVICE AND I'LL RETURN AGAIN AND AGAIN. I love the maitre d's Robert and James. I love the server Mark Santiago. I always run into people there I know and it turns into a party.

Here's the other shoe: The new decor of the Mariposa has destroyed everything it used to be. It is now a crazy 60s bar/space station on acid. All warmth and elegance are gone. There are no more table clothes and the tables look like they are formica or some synthetic. No fresh flowers. No warm ambiance.

The colors of yellow and gray in psychotic fabric designs plus space age uncomfortable chairs AND a bar with a flatscreen wall that changes colors makes you think you are at a Jefferson Airplane concert.

 This is a Kale, Spinach, Farro, Raisin, Hemp Seed, and Golden Raisin medley. It was PHENOMENAL!!!

Cauliflower "Steak" with sauteed vegetables. LOVED IT

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOOK AT THIS FLASHING LSD WALL WHILE YOU EAT?

SORRY TO SAY, BUT THIS BOOTH AT THE LEFT IS PURE IKEA

Mark Santiago---a gracious gentleman

Check out the color scheme and chairs in the bar!!!! You can't sit in them.

And the best part of Mariposa---running into friends. Valerie Harper and I were there and ran into Carole Wells Doheny and Collette Schweitzer. Great fun!

LESLEY GORE---A FEW WORDS

LESLEY GORE, ME, DUSTY SPRINGFIELD, ELLEN WESTON-----THE FAB FOUR


I first met Lesley during the summer between her junior and senior years at Sarah Lawrence. She'd had lots of big hits, but was determined to get her college degree. I liked her right away because she was very bright, and serious about what was really important in life. Through the years we've hung out in LA, Palm Springs, the Hamptons and New York City. What fun we had.

She also had a wicked sense of humor.

What's important for me to say about Lesley is that it was a shame that she found herself trapped with a bubble gum singer reputation. It wasn't her fault--that's what happens when you have your first hit as a teen. Lesley was a serious, gifted musician with a beautiful, mature, sexy jazz voice. In her later gigs, people became aware of this and really "got it." I'm glad, because she really deserved that respect.

She can now become a quartet with Cass, Dusty and Phoebe. God love all of you.

LARRY LUCKINBILL AS TEDDY ROOSEVELT AT INVISIBLE THEATRE IN TUCSON, ARIZONA

The Invisible Theatre in Arizona is the brainchild and baby of actress-producer Susan Claassen.

I recently went to Tucson to see my friend, Larry Luckinbill in his one-man show on Teddy Roosevelt. Without question, in my eyes, Larry is our American John Gielgud. He is a brilliant, brilliant actor. The audience was dazzled by his multi-leveled portrayal of the complicated Roosevelt.

As an extra added surprise, Nina Roosevelt, the granddaughter of FDR, happened to be in the audience and we all met back stage. She looks just like the handsome Franklin, and is very  friendly and down-to-earth. She is the daughter of John Roosevelt, Franklin's youngest son.

Nina Roosevelt and Larry Luckinbill

Larry and Susan Claassen, the dynamo of Invisible Theatre who also starts in her one-woman show as Edith Head.

It was so much fun being in Tucson. It is a charming city with an "Old Town" and a college area where University of Arizona is. We stayed at the Marriott at the University of Arizona and had such fun walking around the college town. We also enjoyed a great dinner after the show at Pastiche.
It was a great weekend!

BITS AND PIECES--FROM NORM'S TO NEIL AND MORE

NORM'S ON LA CIENEGA HAS BEEN SOLD AND ORIGINALLY THE NEW OWNERS WANTED TO TEAR IT DOWN. THEN AN HISTORIC PRESERVATION MOVEMENT STARTED AND THERE IS A TEMPORARY REPRIEVE.  So, Sandy Pressman and I decided we were going to Norm's for dinner before we went to see Neil Sedaka at the Saban Theatre. We knew it would be a perfect pairing. I had the best pancakes I've ever had and Sandy had a great Bacon Cheeseburger. Our bill for diner was $15. 69. Excellent!

Here is the lovely Kasi, who told us that even if Historic Landmark status is granted, Norm's may close anyway, but the building will remain. "That would be like Johnnie's on Wilshire. How sad," said Kasi. "We are praying that won't happen. We have people who've come here every day for 50 years. We're a family of kids, seniors, the homeless, and the police and firemen." Amen.


THEN IT WAS TO THE SABAN THEATRE TO SEE NEIL SEDAKA FOR THE FOUR MILLIONTH TIME. I love him. I know he's dorky, but he's just so adorable and sweet. He has written between 700-800 songs, and you know all the hits.

Neil's voice is as pure and strong as ever, and he did a knock-out show for two hours!!! The audience sang along with him almost the whole night. What joyful memories and a night of pure escape.






------------------------------------------

 JOAN WINS THE GRAMMY FOR SPOKEN WORD!!!

GOD BLESS HER, MELISSA, COOPER AND TEAM RIVERS