THE LUCIE AND "ETHEL" PALM SPRINGS CAPER

I LOVE PALM SPRINGS, AND I LOVE TO HANG OUT THERE WITH LUCIE ARNAZ. INEVITABLY, AT SOME POINT DURING OUR VISITS, WE COME UP WITH A CAPER. IT'S NOT DELIBERATE, IT JUST HAPPENS SPUR OF THE MOMENT. I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE OTHERS, BUT THE LAST ONE WE DID HAD A BOTCHED ESCAPE AND WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT BY SECURITY.

Koffi fountain

WE WERE SITTING AT A PLACE CALLED KOFFI, HAVING AN ICED SOMETHING OR OTHER BY A BEAUTIFUL FOUNTAIN THIS PAST SUNDAY MORNING. SHE WAS SHOWING ME SOME PICTURES ON HER IPHONE AND SHE SHOWED ME A PHOTO OF HERSELF SITTING ON A BRONZE BENCH WITH A LIFE-SIZE BRONZE FIGURE OF HER MOTHER. WE STARTED LAUGHING BECAUSE THAT'S JUST PLAN WEIRD AND HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THAT? PLUS, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A HECK OF A SENSE OF HUMOR BECAUSE IT'S SO DIVINELY ABSURD.

LUCIE COMMENTED THAT SHE NOTICED THE BUSHES AND PLANTS PLANTED BEHIND THE STATUE WERE OVER GROWN AND NEGATIVELY AFFECTED THE WHOLE STATUE. OUR EYES LOCKED! SAME THOUGHT. SAME TIME. GO GET PLANT CLIPPERS AND GIVE HER MOTHER'S STATUE A HAIRCUT!!!!!

Too overgrown and bushy

THE STATUE AND BENCH ARE LOCATED RIGHT OUTSIDE THE COFFEE BEAN AND ACROSS FROM THE LIBRARY RIGHT IN PALM SPRINGS PLAZA--ONE OF THE MOST POPULATED AREAS. AND REMEMBER, IT WAS SUNDAY MORNING AROUND BRUNCH TIME......SO OF COURSE WE DECIDED TO DO IT IN PLAIN SIGHT!!!

"YOU KNOW WE'RE LUCY AND 'ETHEL,'" SHE COMMENTED. "YES, I DO." 

BEING "PLANTINGLY CORRECT," LUCIE CALLED HER FRIEND AND LANDSCAPE DESIGNER CINDY SHOEMAKER WHO LIVES IN PALM SPRINGS AND, COINCIDENTALLY IS LANDSCAPING LUCIE'S (AND LARRY'S) NEW HOUSE. WE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF PLANT IT WAS AND WHERE TO CUT WITHOUT INJURING IT. TURNED OUT IT WAS BOUGAINVILLA. ON TO THE CLIPPERS.... 

WE PARKED THE CAR AROUND THE CORNER IN AN END SPOT ON A STREET A BLOCK AWAY FOR A QUICK GETAWAY. WALKING WITH PURPOSE, BUT SLIGHTLY STEALTHILY, WE SAW THE CROWDS AND STARTED TO LAUGH. BUT WE KEPT ON WALKING.

RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STATUE, WE PUT OUR PURSES DOWN AND TOOK OUT THE CLIPPERS AND WENT TO WORK. LUCIE CHOPPED AND I PICKED UP BRANCHES (LONG BRANCHES)  AS FAST AS I COULD AND DEPOSITED THEM IN A TRASH CAN ON THE CORNER. WE BOTH HAD ON DARK GLASSES AND TRIED TO LOOK TOTALLY OFFICIAL, EVEN THOUGH WE WERE IN SHORTS AND TOPS. AS PEOPLE GATHERED, WE BEGAN TO PEPPER OUR DIALOGUE WITH THINGS LIKE....."COMMUNITY SERVICE CAN BE FUN"........"I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO TRAFFIC SCHOOL"......"I LIKE WORKING FOR THE CITY."

THEN SOME TOURISTS CAME UP AND ASKED, "WOULD YOU MIND MOVING TO THE SIDE  FOR A MINUTE, WE WANT A PICTURE WITH LUCY." LUCIE SAID, "OF COURSE NOT. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TAKE IT FOR YOU?" THEY ANSWERED, "NO, THANKS."

I WAS CHOKING FROM TRYING NOT TO LAUGH. SHE AND I COULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

AND, AT THE END, WE DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB. LUCIE TRIMMED, I TRASHED, AND AT THE END I GOT A WET PAPER TOWEL AND WIPED THE BIRD DROPPINGS OF OF LUCY'S HEAD.

Bye bye bird droppings

The new, manicured Lucy!!!!