Well, the other night at a dinner party, I sat across from Dr. Dudley Danoff, a urologic surgeon at Cedars, and he was talking about penises. Right away I thought, "My, what unique dinner party conversation." So.....when there was a second of silence I asked, "Do you find that most men name their penises?" The entire dinner table hushed in one second. "I mean Robin Williams calls his Mr. Happy, which I think is a common penis name."
The entire table then erupted (pardon the pun) with names....."Bob"...."Gigantis"......"Winchester"...."Mellow Yellow"...."Little Elvis" (which really WAS Elvis' name for his)....."Jumbo" (which really WAS Lyndon Johnson's name for his.....
"I had a patients wife name his penis, 'Helmut' because it had a head shaped that way," said Dr. Danoff. "You're right. Penises have nicknames."
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| LITTLE ELVIS |
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| MR. HAPPY |
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| JUMBO |
HERE'S WHAT I LEARNED FROM DR. DANOFF:
Men have penis envy; women have penis curiosity
Penis weakness is almost always caused by stress
If you are ok, you're penis is ok
A penis can never be as good as a vibrator, but a vibrator doesn't hug
Penis size---one size fits all
HOW TO ENLARGE A PENIS--
GO TO A STORE AND BUY A MAGNIFYING GLASS
15-30 million men suffer erectile dysfunction
POSITIVE PENIS PERSONALITIES: Purposeful, Peceptive, Persistent, Principled, Percolating, Prepared, Pensive, Philanthropic, Protective, Passionate, Psychedelic, Peaceful, Pioneer, Playful, Precocious, Poetic, Prodigious Powerful
NEGATIVE PENIS PERSONALITIES: Peewee, Pessimistic, Promiscuous, Procrastinating, Phobic, Picky, Pornographic, Plaintiff, Pompous, PipeDream, Pious, Pedestrian, Political, Pooped, Preoccupied, Paranoid, Pampered, Pissed-off, Profligate, Possessive, Perverted, Professional, Pharmaceutical
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| Dr. Dudley Danoff |
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