I'M NOT ENJOYING ALL THE RETROSPECTIVE SHOWS. NOT BECAUSE JOHN KENNEDY DOESN'T DESERVE THEM, BUT BECAUSE HIS ASSASSINATION IS STILL TOO PAINFUL FOR ME.
EVER SINCE IT HAPPENED, IF I HEAR HORSES HOOVES I THINK OF HIM. IF I SEE A SALUTE I THINK OF HIM. IF I HEAR A BOSTON ACCENT I THINK OF HIM. IF I SEE SOMEONE TALKING WITH HIS LEFT HAND IN HIS SUIT JACKET POCKET I THINK OF HIM.
I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING FROM "CAMELOT." IF SOME MAN HAS GREAT HAIR, TEETH AND EYES I THINK OF HIM. I CAN'T WATCH ANY OF THE TRIBUTES ON TV BECAUSE I WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP CRYING.
THROUGHOUT THE YEARS, THERE HAVE BEEN MANY TRIBUTE SHOWS ON TV TO HIM. THE DOCUMENTARIES ALWAYS START WITH THE KENNEDY CHILDHOOD AND THE SAILING AND THE FOOTBALL GAMES. THERE IS SUCH HOPE AS WE GO CHAPTER AFTER CHAPTER, THAT EACH TIME I FIND MYSELF HOPING FOR A DIFFERENT ENDING; BUT IT NEVER COMES.
MY HEART AND FEELINGS ARE NOT A POLITICAL STATEMENT. I WAS A SCHOOL AGE CHILD WHEN IT HAPPENED. I REMEMBER RUNNING TO MY MOTHER SCREAMING WHEN I SAW RUBY SHOOT OSWALD ON LIVE TV. IT HAPPENED AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT MY MOTHER HAD LEFT THE ROOM FOR A SECOND. I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID TO ME. HOW CAN A MOTHER BE PREPARED FOR WORDS WHEN A CHILD WATCHES A LIVE ASSASSINATION ON TV?
I WAS OLD ENOUGH DURING THE BOBBY KENNEDY TIME THAT I COULD UNDERSTAND THE RESURGENCE OF THE HOPE THAT PEOPLE HAD FOR JOHN KENNEDY AND THE WORLD. YOUNG CHILDREN DON'T UNDERSTAND FOREIGN POLICY OR TAXES. THEY JUST GET A FEELING FROM PEOPLE THAT IS AS SIMPLE AS "GOOD GUY/BAD GUY."
LOTS OF BEHIND-THE-SCENES PERSONAL AND POLITICAL REVELATIONS HAVE BEEN UNCOVERED ABOUT BOTH JOHN AND ROBERT. FORGET ABOUT BOUGHT PRESIDENCIES, MARILYN MONROE, PAPA JOE'S ENFORCERS. I DON'T CARE. I'M STILL THAT KID WHO, TWICE UPON A TIME, HAD HOPE.
WHEN BOBBY KENNEDY WAS SHOT, MY CHILDHOOD DIED WITH HIM. THERE WAS NO MORE HOPE OR TRUST. I STILL FEEL LIKE THAT. I REMAIN INCONSOLABLE.
AND THEN THERE WERE NONE.
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