I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS.......

       YES. I AM SURROUNDED BY WEDDING DRESSES

You see, I have a friend named Sandy Pressman. Together, we have a sense of humor that should be in the record books. This humor has allowed us to experience unspeakable adventures from performing at a bachelor party in bathing suits, to tap-dancing on a carpet in one of Beverly Hills' finest restaurants.

We have also developed Kidnapping Capers. One of us will kidnap the other (the kidnappee is blindfolded). She has found herself in the mountains above Sierra Madre or on top of the Ferris wheel on the pier. I have been in the kitchen of the "chef of the moment" having a private cooking lesson; I have been taken to a private rock and roll memorabilia collection at the home of a legendary DJ who lets NO ONE IN. It goes on and on.

In the latest, I was blindfolded and apparently walked through Saks Men's Store, which I still call I. Magnin. We went into the elevator and got off on some floor. The blindfold was removed and I was alone on the entire floor of wedding dresses.

A lovely woman named Nancy Williams, who turned out to be a former wedding style coordinator for Vera Wang and Carolyne Rohem, was there to "be my guide." "Guide for what?" I asked. Sandy was doubled-over laughing. "We're going to dress you as if you were getting married!" exclaimed Nancy. "What?" I said.

You see...when I eloped in 1978 I couldn't tell anyone. I went shopping by myself and ended up with a dusty pink felt-jersey dress. It was hideous.

And then I started to cry. I had never had the experience of "shopping for THE wedding dress." It was a visceral pain that I never expected. My mother had screwed up the wedding I was supposed to have, but that's another story.

Sandy

Sandy wearing a "Fascinator."

Sandy catches the bouquet

 The "bouquet" moment. Of course Sandy caught it. She was the only one there.

My dress was absolutely gorgeous. I had it narrowed down to three and picked what I knew was "the one." I picked the veil I wanted (seriously Catholic), and they had the perfect fake bouquet. They even had the right borrowed shoes.


AND YOU KNOW THE BEST THING ABOUT IT? I HAD ALL THE BEAUTIFUL TRAPPINGS AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO GET MARRIED!!!!!

PERFECT!